Letters to Penthouse XIII

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He had other things to pay for: his pampered mutts, his almost as cosseted dancer boyfriend, Kevin (who looked like a Ganymede come to life from a Renaissance painting), and French advertising posters from the early 1900s. What I realized after that was that the little book, Penthouse Letters, had the same name as my dad’s magazines — Penthouse. Eventually we just scrapped the whole thing and I drove her home, a two-hour trip, in total silence.

I was pretty sure any talent I had at being charming would fall on stony ground but I had to try; I knew Jim had been fired at least once from both Penthouse and Playboy, so I was hoping for a sympathetic ear. I started to get very hot, and it was then, with my friend fingering me, that she told me to sit on the edge of the tub. While the lesbian story didn’t do much for me, I was enraptured by these forbidden words describing sex.

That afternoon, with those stories swirling in my mind’s eye, was the afternoon …I had my first orgasm. The first American edition of Penthouse Forum was published in 1971 and became the fastest-growing national magazine by 1978.

Desperately needing somewhere to go, but finding all of the bedrooms in my parents’ house to be unsuitable, we quickly landed in the backseat of my car, a 2004 Nissan Altima. After opening one letter and having what appeared to be pubic hair drift onto my desk and lap, I started squeezing each envelope before I opened it; if it felt like it contained anything besides paper, it went right in the garbage. I was now the editorial assistant at Penthouse magazine, foisted on their staff by my old boss Kathy Keeton. Peter usually welcomed any interruption from his job, which was to maintain a delicate balance between Jim Goode’s insanity and Bob Guccione’s insanity.The sexy women and men you're about to meet in these pages-straight out of the sizzling files of Penthouse magazine-shamelessly say yes, and they have found dozens of delicious ways to practice what they preach. They rested in stacks against the wall, the target of the occasional raised leg of an underwalked dog. Now, take an erotic journey to the suburbs where mature MILFs, wanton wives next door, and wicked widows are stalking their young prey. Hear readers of the world's most uninhibited and provocative lifestyle magazine talk about sex at its wildest and its hottest, in every possible combination, and in every imaginable position. Editing the letters section was the scut work of Penthouse, a task that had plagued almost every editor (even the gay ones, who must have looked on these letters as missives from Mars), and which was dumped as rapidly as possible on someone else.