My Dad's Jokes are Punny, So Color Him Funny!: 101 hilarious cartoons

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Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.”– Homer Simpson A teddy bear sits down at a restaurant. The waiter asks, “Would you like anything?” The bear responds, “No, I’m stuffed.”

Don’t do drugs, kids. There is a time and place for everything. It’s called college.”– Chef in South ParkNeed more holiday hilarity? We've got 100+ Christmas jokes, not to mention an Unusual Christmas Quiz which will really test your trivia! What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals. Sadly, no pun in 10 did. Have a good laugh over these clean jokes you can tell your friends and kids without getting in trouble! I hope they will think they are seriously funny jokes! How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from.

Laughter is strong medicine. It draws people together in ways that trigger healthy physical and emotional changes in the body. Laughter strengthens your immune system, boosts mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress. As children, we used to laugh hundreds of times a day, but as adults life tends to be more serious and laughter more infrequent. By seeking out more opportunities for humor and laughter, though, you can improve your emotional health, strengthen your relationships, find greater happiness—and even add years to your life. A big moron and a little moron were standing on a cliff. The big moron fell off. Do you know why the other one didn’t? Because he was a little more on. If you’re enjoying this article, you might also love 14 Profound Excerpts From Classic Literature That Will Change Your Day Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole's Law? No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing. What does one saggy b**b say to the other saggy b**b? If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins? You just have to listen varicosely. Complicated and long jokes can be a pain to remember, that is why I do prefer short jokes or even 2 line jokes like the following ones. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favorite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."